• estherokusaga

I AM BLACK.

I very rarely post and talk about things happening in society, because I know some people don’t like to read my rantings and I know not all of us have the same opinion.

But isn’t my platform about me sharing my voice, despite the world wanting to silence it. While thinking this to myself I decided enough was enough. No more being silent.

Some of us like to alienate the voices that are remotely different from us, we hate an individual’s uniqueness and feel it is our job to take that voice away.

When I say alienate, I mean to say KILL. You take away our light without us having a say.


You remove our choice to defend ourselves because you have already formed a judgement.

You have formed this judgement before we have even had the chance to speak.

You see our skin-colour and programme the word ‘threat’ in your minds.

Do you stop to consider how this makes us feel?

I will tell you how it makes us feel. It makes us feel inhumane. It makes us feel like there is a huge wall standing between us, waiting to be conquered.

Every time you decide to kill us, another brick to the wall is added.

I keep asking myself when is this going to end, when is the wickedness against black people going to be over.

Deep down inside me I am wondering if it is ever going to be over. We are in the year of 2020 and the weapons are still rising against us. Whether this be a gun or a knee.

These weapons are given to the powerful to strike the powerless.

I am tired of being powerless.

But am I really powerless?

No, I have this amazing voice God has given me. A voice that He told me to use for those who are silent and weak.

I am going to trust in Him and the power He has given me.

I am going to trust that I am still beautifully, wonderfully and fearfully made.

Anybody black who is reading this should trust in this also.

They can try their hardest to silence us but they will not succeed.

You will not take my life away from me, because God is for me and nobody can be against me.

For those who have had their lives taken away, their legacies cannot and will not be taken away.

Say their names and understand their stories.

1. Breonna Taylor

2. George Floyd

3. Ahmaud Arbery AND SOOOO MANY MORE.






If you are reading this right now and are asking does this affect you?

If you have to ask that it DOES AFFECT YOU. If you don’t, you are PRIVILEGED.

Privilege is this, having a hurdle or an obstacle in front of you and realising you can jump over it or remove it simply because of your race. That is privilege.

Meanwhile for us BLACK people, the amount of things we have to go through just to touch the obstacle or get one leg over the hurdle is incomprehensible.

Think about that next time you want to ask: ‘what does this have to do with me?’

My heart wants to break into pieces and the anger wants to consume me when I see people left right and centre take an innocent life, because they do not like the way we look.

I shouldn’t have to remind you how beautiful being black is. That is not my job.

It is your job not to use your privilege to destroy me.

This mentality of ‘us against them’ brings me to tears, because if you understood God’s mentality you wouldn’t be saying that.

The mentality that tells me to love myself just the way He created me. It also tells me to love my enemies.

I am sorry God, did you say love my enemies?

You mean love the people that continually break me down?

How do you want me to do this Lord?

Matthew 5:44- “Pray for those who persecute you.”

I know a lot of us are angry and I am definitely with you on this one. But I have to remember what God is telling me.

I need to pray for those who have evil in their hearts, pray for their hearts of stone to be turned into hearts of flesh.

Yes, it may pain me but I cannot let my anger control me and cause me to sin.

After all, was it not Jesus who prayed to His Father to forgive those hitting, piercing and spitting on Him?

Luke 23:24

If you are struggling on how to pray for your enemies, read the prayer I have written below:

Lord it says in your Word that you hold the hearts of Kings in your hand (Proverbs 21), there is nothing you cannot do and there is nobody you cannot change. Lord change the hearts of the people who come against us. Remove the evil and the wickedness within them and let your love penetrate. If there are seeds of evil planted in these people’s hearts, I ask you Lord to not let it grow.

I ask for their souls not to be lost. I ask for their anger to not consume them, but for the veil to be removed from their eyes.

Lord you know best so I ask you to take utter control. You told us to love others like you have loved us, and you told us to forgive those like you forgave us. Lord, help us to forgive those who have hurt us. Change their ways Lord! Let there be no more deaths, no more innocent blood spilled but let your everlasting blood speak to these people, these people who are your children.

HEAL THIS LAND LORD, HEAL THE PEOPLE. LET JUSTICE PREVAIL AND LET YOUR MERCY SHINE THROUGH.

Thank you Lord, I pray in your name that you will be victorious in the end.

AMEN.

Now that you have gotten to end of this blogpost, share it and continue to use your voice.

Share and sign the petition below:

https://www.change.org/p/mayor-jacob-frey-justice-for-george-floyd

if you are wondering how you can help from the UK, check out this account:

@das.penman

God Bless you all!

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